My anthem!

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel
underneath
innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
all rolled into one


I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your health, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
and I'm going to extremes
tomorrow I will change
and today won't mean a thing



Just when you think you've got me figured out
the season's already changing
I think it's cool you do what you do
and don't try to save me



I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
when you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numbed, I'm revived
can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

On a different note, when I was on the bus today a man was denied because the bus was too crowded. Maybe I imagined it, but the look of sadness on his face was intense. I felt like crying. I had to urge to get off so he could on, but the bus was already leaving. I felt sad, because I really wished, and still wish, I had gotten off for him. I don't even know why.
I find it depressing that my first blog for the month of December is about my feelings being hurt. Well, thank God I was never alone with you today. I think I would have punched you. I have basically become the master at acting normal when I'm mad at someone :)


I say "on a different note" a lot. I took "Then Animal in You" personality test. I'm an Otter. VER NACE.

Otters are petite, engaging creatures overflowing with positive energy. Intelligent and bright, they are also popular and eminently lovable and displaying the highly developed social skills that typify the small carnivores. So, otters mix easily with a wide range of animal personalities.

Lazy? Let's just say easily distracted. For life has so many diversions for the otter, that whether it's playing a computer game, reading a book, or doing a crossword puzzle, it's impossible to predict how it will fill it's day. But when an otter gets focused on a problem, it's keen intelligence rises to the challenge and it will not give up until the nut is cracked. Otters feel entitled to the good things in life and a general sense of well being gives them the confidence to not have to save for the future. A lover who wants to impress an otter should know that otters love to eat out and have a predictable penchant for sushi.

Although intelligent and witty, otters have a tendency to suffer from self-doubt, and fear of failure can prevent them from living up to their true potential. Still, they are a great problem solvers, with the ability to spend endless hours on abstract or practical challenges. As workers, they are dedicated and capable and always eager for a chance to prove themselves. Their determination makes them valuable employees and although they often feel that their contributions are undervalued, they would rather accept lower pay than risk confrontations in their workplace. Although they are fine motivators, they avoid taking leadership roles, performing better in group situations with their social skills coming in handy when counseling coworkers through their problems. Their dexterous hands are useful in a wide range of careers, and they're ideally suited for work in engineering, advertising, and design.

As lovers, otters are tenacious and have remarkably vital libidos. Unafraid of expressing their needs, they have little tolerance for selfish people and are attracted those creative enough to fulfill their sexual appetites. Among the aquatic animals, the lusty dolphin provides endless fun while the terrestrial fox proves to be a challenging and sexy companion. In a relationship, the otter will willingly stray into dangerous waters, betting that its instincts will see it though. But, for the most part it prefers the familiar shallows of a predictable association with the semi-aquatic beaver or sea lion.

There is no question that the otter is going to have children. Lots of them. And this otherwise carefree individual will surprise you with its strict and disciplined approach to child raising.

Otters are certainly not shy. Their highly advanced communication skills explain why friends flock to it for advice and why ex-lovers find it so hard to let it go. But sometimes it seems that relating to an otter is a one-way street; for otters hate criticism. It's not that they don't believe there's room for improvement -- it's just that they tend to confuse criticism with rejection. Friends must step lightly lest they wound the otter's self-image, for this is the surest way to dissuade the otter from further communication.