Boys are stupid. Boys are indecisive. I just got off the phone with April and Nikki, and am currently on the phone with April. We are talking about Nikki's boyfriend, whom's name I'd rather not mention. He really isn't ready for any sort of relationship. I like guyfriends. I like that label. I like that. I really really really like FRIENDS. Whatever. This is a short entry. I haven't been particularly inspired lately. Oh well guys, I'll come up with something later.

inspiration is as predictable as the ocean

I love the piano. I have not been able to fully appreciate it until now. Until you listen to this band, until you read these lyrics, until you've felt what they make you feel, until you've experienced the power they have over your mind's wanderings while listen, you cannot fully appreciate anything. I don't know how they do it, but they make my eyes fall apart. They unravel the inner writings of my mind. That sound dramatic, but I am not joking. I have never a band like this... a band that you simply can't listen to lightly. Its comparable to ever aspect of my life, its nearly impossible how relevant everything is. So, as I sit, (eating Chex Mix *yummy*) and browse their song meanings, I am struck by revelations corning me into an epiphany. I know they are all words you have heard before from me, but what can I say?
I need someone to talk to, not just my blog. Someone who will understand my mind and what it is doing right now, but that may be quite a feat because I don't even think I understand what my mind is doing right now. Well, I do. I know that it is analyzing everything because that is just what it does, but I think I need to talk to someone so that I can figure out what I am analyzing. There is no picture for this particular entry because I didn't have time. I wanted to write this all down before it escaped out my ears. Also, someone needs to come over here and teach me how to play piano, right now. I need the notes to 'Eileen', too. If someone can come over and teach me how to play that song, I'd be extremely happy. Someone who can interpret my mind, and teach me how to play the piano.
By the way guys, I give the weirdest suggestions. Someone asked me what they should do today, and I said something along the lines of: draw, write, create something intricate. Who says that, guys, who says that?! Contact me if you are intellectual and can play the piano. I have money!! (:

fading colourz

today was painfully uneventful. I'm tired of fighting with Jade, I don't like ignoring people. I can feel Charley's strain too, trying to be friends with both of us. I don't like it, it's immature. I get along so much better with boys. I sat next to Sam in 2nd because I forgot my glasses, and he told me that if he was still my friend when I died he'd fuse my ashes into diamonds. I am excited. Ahaha. Oh, that reminds me, in 3rd period, Hayley said something like, "Ms. Clingonsmith REALLY enjoys getting emails from you, Mr. Frerichs.. I don't know why.." and Mr. F has this poster that says 'What is written without effort is generally read without pleasure' so he points to it and says, "Its because I write with effort, she reads them with much pleasure," and I don't know why but I laughed sooo much. Everybody looked at me and Nikki was like, "Geez, calm down, Corii!" but I was laughing too hard. We are reading a book called 'Amusing Ourselves to Death' that makes me ashamed to be human. Its about how all of our attention spans have shrunk, about how we're all a civilization of idiots. "Our discourse in nonsense" it says. I talk about important things, thank you very much. Freedom of speech is there for a reason! It is not my fault you have absolutely no time to talk about anything other than issues of utmost importance, mister. In drama we watched two versions of Romeo and Juliet, an old version and a new version. The old version was trying to be serious, it was funny. The new version was trying to be funny...or maybe it wasn't... I'm not really sure. Here's the link to watch part of it, in the form of a 'Lovefool' music video. After that I got a ride home from Ashely, which is technically illegal because she's only 16 and you have to be 25 to ride in a car with her. Muahah I break the law. Now I'm basically waiting for my mom to get home, we're supposed to go to her friend Les's cousin's concert. Her name is Janis Ian, her biggest hit called 'At 17'. She's like 564937690548 years old, but my mom has been friends with Les since forever so we have to go. I'll tell you how that was later. For now, I have to go take care of my stuff.

bus stop epiphany!

As I sat at the bus stop, it gave me time to think. I never have time to really think anymore. I'm always going somewhere, doing something. I was sitting there, listening to hush sound, (thats really all I listen to nowadays) The Artist, actually, and thinking about how much I want to dedicate this song to someone. Or have this song dedicated to me. Either way. Here is the link to listen to it, if you want. I then saw a man, in a neon green shirt bike past. My eyes blurred from staring too long, and the shirt illuminated the street. It was inspirational. It reminded me of Jael, from America's Next Top Model. She said, "I don't want to get eliminated yet, I'm not done bringing light to the universe". I think thats my life quest. I aspire to bring light to the universe. Maybe its light in the form of intelligence, or maybe I only want to give light to one person. Light in the form of love. I got off the bus one stop too early. I was hesitant to get off, but everyone saw me pull the thingy, and expected me to get off. I got off. I figured I needed the exercise. I wanted to get some chips, (haha how ironic, exercising to buy chips) and the Chevron wasn't very far. Soo I started to walk. I forget what song was playing, but I was walking in harmony to it. I probably looked funny, in my bright pink shirt, skipping steps and hopping around. People always stare at me, on normal days, but as I walked down that street, I swear, every single person stared at me from their cars. Old men, old women, young kids, kids my age. Everyone. I don't mind people staring. People don't stare at normal people. I like to be strange-looking, as professed in the previous blog. I had to admit, I kind of liked it. I especially noticed this little chubby bald kid, because he was blatantly staring at me. Most people look away when I stare right back. When I felt him staring at me.. when I looked to side and looked at him, he didn't stop staring. He had dark dark brown eyes. It almost made me stop, I swear, he had the most powerful eyes I had ever felt. I don't know what it was, but it gave me chills. It was like he saw right through me..it was scary. I don't like people to see through me. When I walked into the gas station to get my food, this cashier that I had never seen before (which is unusual, I'm a frequent customer at the gas station, most of the cashiers know me) commented on my hair. She said, "Your hair looks better like that!" I didn't say anything. Maybe I should have thanked her, but I don't know. What was she comparing it to? She had never seen me before. Maybe she has. People often scrutinize me, I mean, not often, but its weird. People will notice a stain on my shirt, even if the girl next to me is covered in trash. I don't know what it is.

designer drugs & designer friends

I want to run, really bad. Right now. I want to go outside, and run. Really really really really far. I feel like taking a short break from everything. Like pulling a Forrest Gump and running for like months on end. I'm so tired of highschool. I'm so tired of people. I'm so tired of drama, I'm tired of the word drama. Everything is so juvenile about it. Lunch is fun, though. I like talking to nice boys, more than I like talking to girls. They are always so chill about things. One of my friends, actually two of my friends at the moment, are like obsessed with their boyfriends. I hate that. I hate having every sentence begin with "Oh, and he said... and it was soo cute! Ahh!" OHMYJESUS STFU CONGRATS GO DIE NOW. I've never said anything like that, though. I really enjoy blogging. I've never been able to sustain anything, but I can sustain this. It feels so late, but it's so early. Anyways, nice boys. They are so fun to talk to! Especially fun, nice, intelligent boys. Boys you don't have to worry about. I think I might hate flirting. No, I hate labeling the act. I hate saying "OMG GUYZ SHE WAS TOTES FLIRTING WITH THAT LOSER, ZOMGWTFLOLZ LETS GO SPREAD RUMORZ" oh my gosh, if I hear that I'm flirting with someone one more time, I'm going to smack someone. Like, really really hard. Especially Charley. People are so immature. Does anybody want to take a long long long run with me?

discordant beats

That picture is really beautiful. It kind of speaks to me, in a way. It feeds my desire to leave SoCal and get my ass to New York. I was at lunch today:
"You know, you guys, we really don't have any strange kids at our school."
Jonathan pointed at me. I laugh, not bothering to deny it.
"I know, okay, whatever, but nobody LOOKS strange."
"Corii, you're wearing an orange sweater-"
"Its yellow."
"Yellow sweater, and an orange shirt under it."
Do you see how neutralized people are? I can't even wear a yellow sweater without being told that I am strange. Not that I am ashamed, because really, I'm glad that I am not normal. How overrated does normal sound? I mean I know this girl that is normal, and everybody calls her boring, I mean everybody. Maybe she isn't normal, though. Maybe I'm judging too harshly, I don't know if I think she's normal or not. Oh well.
I'm actually really hungry, right now. I don't want to eat anything. I don't feel like getting up and making myself food. I don't think I will ever weigh any less then I do now. I should, because according to average statistics, I am overweight. I don't know if I look overweight, but you can't deny science, correct? I always worry about my double chin. I know I have one. I pretty much scrutinize it every single night. If I had to choose one place to lose weight, it'd be there. Jonathan, Alfonso, and Edgar (mostly Alfonso and Jonathan) would not stop taking pictures today at lunch...of me. They told me it didn't have film, and then it turns out that it did. Those pictures are going to turn out horrible, I know it. I hate it when that happens. K, good bye now everyone. I hope your little glimpse of my insecurities was fun.

initiate, terminate, alienate.

hello! yes, its me again. i just got off grounding, eck. i got grounded for the most absurd reason, too! i forgot to take out the dishes from the dishwasher. i know! its absurd. i was THIS CLOSE to yelling all sorts of obscenities, but i didn't. that would have made things worse, haha. but i got off today, and my dad left for sweden. yeah. he left, again. i don't know how long he'll be gone. my mouse keeps dying, it gets soo annoying. and i have to keep pushing this little, red, menacing button until i have a sore on my fricking thumb. you can imagine. i just watched this super amazing, and romantic, and unfortunately fictional movie; called the covenant. ahem, thats also the reason for the picture of the amazingly hot guy to <--- that way. hahah. i don't know what his real name is, but in the movie his name was caleb danver. but he got with this blonde chick. ughhh. he;s very manly. and he has a V! i know! in the swimming scene, when he has his shirt off, you can see it! its soooo darn amazing. hahah. but then again.. i know someone else with a V... cough cough zane. haha. erinn will get that. anyways, i really really like that movie. its also got like.. fantastic music. i'm listening to one of the songs right now. by this band called front line assembly, you know, its one of those bands where you didn't even know it existed until watching a really good movie, and then you pretend like you've been a faithful fan all along. haha. just kidding! who wants to do that?! not me of course.. cough.. cough..... wheeze.. die. okay. i think i'm done with this blog, before you sneaky readers find out my true identity, muahahhaha.

bagel-eating sociopath

My mom and I just got into a fight. This is my first blog. I think it was a pretty good fight. She called me a sociopath, I told her that I'd start smoking weed or getting cranked if she didn't stop saying that. I'm grounded from the computer. I hope you sense the irony in writing a blog about being grounded from the computer. My name is Corinne. I usually go by Corii, but I figure I might as well do something new. I'm embarking on a blogger's journey, and I plan on making the best of it. I live in California, and I'm not saying where because thats the fault of some naive insecure teenage girl to do just so some old lonely 40-year-old man can stalk her. So, I'm not going to do that. I'm probably not you're average 14-year-old.
While I was fighting with my mom, I told her to yell. I told her to get angry. She sits there like a little mouse, thinking before she talks, and caring about my feelings. I wish she wouldn't. I was saying hurtful things to her, and I wish she would acknowledge that and say something back. She told me that she wanted me to get her something for her birthday. She yelled at me, and then I told her I was hungry and wanted a bagel. She's now out getting me one.
Sometimes I wish I could be more like Marilyn Monroe. How wonderful would that be? Able to experience the spectacular lifestyle, the drama and the charm and enchantment of Hollywood. But I could live without it.