Alone forever.

"I feel like I have a universe of beauty, magic, love, and wonder in my mind and heart. But I'm not pretty. I think I will be alone forever."

Sit down, read that, and think. Think hard. This about our society. Think about the magazines. Think about your mind. When you look around, do you spend extra time noticing people who to you, are ugly? People shouldn't be this way. Whoever wrote that is beautiful. It shines through a postcard. I read that and realized how true this is. I know that I am afraid I will will never be loved. Or, as superficial as it is, that I will never be with somebody that I am attracted too. Shouldn't everybody have that? Doesn't everybody deserved to love and be loved in return? What if you were to turn 60, and realized that you have never truly been loved by anyone. That you have never loved anyone. A friend of mine once said that love is not about be selfish and taking one person to be your own, that love is about loving everything. Love is about loving everyone and everything and experiencing that kind of love. To think about everyone all the time. To ... just lose yourself in that much love. Why do you think you are not pretty? Who has told you that? What is pretty? I googled pretty, and all there is is pictures of naked girls. So, is pornography pretty? I searched beautiful, and the same. Naked girls. I searched ugly next. I... I don't understand. Posting pictures of people you think are ugly makes you ugly. Ugly is in the mind. I am not being original here. You have heard this before. Why doesn't it sink in? I was once told that I was ugly. That I was fat. Even that I would never get married, because I was ugly and fat. I don't even know who said it. It was anonymous. Do I think that that person knows me? No, I don't. What you have to accept is that you are beautiful. Everyone is not beautiful. Whoever said that to me, is not beautiful. Well, now this is getting waaaay too corny. A little bit about myself: I am not skinny. Am I fat? (Gah I hate that word) No. My mind... My mind is my own. I am not the most beautiful thing ever on the outside. I believe that inside, I am. This is what inspired me. My own feelings about myself.. what they used to be, what they still are, and hopefully what they will be. I have all those usual fears: rejection, never being loved, solitude. I am getting better though. I don't like to talk about it, for fear that I get out of hand. I cry easily, you see. I hope that what I write will one day help somebody.